In times when it feels like people argue faster than they find common ground (especially online), it’s incredibly refreshing to experience something that reminds you that differences don’t have to be a disaster. That’s exactly what the Dates of political opponents event offered, held at the end of April at the Social Academy.
What are Dates of political opponents?
The Hard Topics app, available at hardtopics.eu, is an excellent tool for organizing events in youth work, education, and beyond. You can create your own questions or choose from pre-made ones and easily share them via a QR code or link.
Participants complete a questionnaire on their devices, and an algorithm pairs them with those who gave the most opposing answers. Even those with more moderate views are matched with someone they’re likely to disagree with, allowing everyone to explore different perspectives. The app allows each participant to view their own answers alongside their partner’s. After the event, participants can submit anonymous feedback through the app.
What did it look like for us?
About twenty of us gathered – each with their own beliefs, experiences, and opinions. The atmosphere was relaxed, but more importantly, safe – thanks to the clear ground rules introduced at the beginning.
First, everyone filled out the questionnaire. The questions ranged from light-hearted (kebab: emphasis on the e or the a?) to serious (abortion, freedom of speech… the classics). Neutral answers weren’t encouraged – pick a side! And this wasn’t just for fun: the answers determined who we’d be talking to. Naturally, not someone who agreed with us, but someone who sees the world a little, very, or completely differently.
When I found out who I was paired with, I was a bit surprised.
It was an acquaintance of mine – someone I had no idea thought so differently than I did. But instead of jumping at each other’s throats (or at least into a verbal duel), we opened our hearts to each other. The conversation was honest, in-depth, and – best of all – there was no need for one of us to “win.”
We gave each other the time and space to explain our views. Sometimes, it was hard to find the right words – I, for example, often use exaggerations without meaning to, just to make a point. My favorite phrase? “That was the worst day of my life…” During the conversation, we both became aware that what you say isn’t always what you really mean. It’s easy to notice that in yourself, but not always in others. Throughout our talk, we tried to stay mindful of that.
I understood her reasons, and she understood mine. And that was the real “aha” moment of the evening: that you can understand someone even if you don’t agree with them. You don’t need to convince or be convinced – it’s enough to be willing to understand a different perspective. That way, you can discuss even the most difficult topics without turning into a verbal time bomb.
So: if you ever come across a similar event that encourages real conversation, sign up! Dates of political opponents aren’t just a space for confronting others – they’re also a space for discovering yourself.
Ana Vidic
